April Fool

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‘Ewoooooooooo, help me oooo
Hot water kwa, Chimooooooo, you must kill me today’

The neighbours came rushing out on hearing her scream. Comments flew here and there, ‘Abomination’, ‘tufiyakwa’, ‘arueme’, ‘aro’, ‘she should have seen it coming’, ‘serves her right’, the whole compound was in a state of confusion.

The Landlord made effort to restore sanity and finally ‘inquired into the cause of the madness and lawlessness’. ‘He pour me hot wata’ mama ChiChi cried out.

‘Ahhhhhh !!!!’ the neighbours exclaimed.

‘She bin dey hold my strong man’,

‘cheiii!!!!’, chorused the neighbours.

‘she accuse me say I bin dey cheat on am, I tell am say I get appointment and if she no want make I late, make she free me; tor, as she no come gree I pour am small hot water to teach am say na me be head of the house’ Papa ChiChi replied.

‘Mama ChiChi why did you act the way you did’. ‘Thank you oga Landlord oooo, no mind am, no bi yesterday wey I bin dey sidon jejely for market, na him mama Risi come tell me say, aunty Bisi sister tell am say, Sisi, Brother Tope wife, tell am say Didi, Okon wife, tell am say, Bibi, tell am say Cece, your Pikin don get belle for my husband’ she said eyeing Papa ChiChi.

The Landlord faints.

******inaudible drama****

Cece walks in, ‘what’s with all the chaos?’. The landord immediately jumps up and pounces on her, ‘usless girl, stupid girl, of all the men in the neighbourhood, it’s Papa ChiChi you saw to impregnate you’. Puzzled, confused and crying she replied, ‘Daddy I don’t understand, pregnant ke, how, when, where, who, what!!!!’

Just then Mama Risi strolls in to give mama ChiChi the lace for her daughter’s wedding. She notices Mama ChiChi on the floor crying and holding her burnt arm. ‘what’s going on here?’ Mama ChiChi recapped the whole episode.

Mama Risi laughs and says, ‘you be fool ooo, yesterday na April fool na, I just dey pull your leg’.


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